The child and adult strangers

What do you do if bystanders begin to teach your child - thank or go to? And if the child will play an outsider adult obraduetes or alert? How to determine whether a stranger or a latent threat to simply sympathy for the children? On the one hand, it is necessary to teach the child to be polite. On the other - baby may encounter bad people ... challenge us, the adults - to prepare the child for unexpected situations and encounters.
Hope Yurgina
Family Psychologist

Do No Harm

Before I explain to a child how to behave with strangers, adults should keep in mind: ensuring the safety of the child, not to violate the harmony of his inner world and its ability to adequately - to measure trust and to the best of care - to respond to the external world.

Unfortunately, today the personal safety of the child, more than ever, speaking at the forefront. Terrorism, the increase in neuro-psychiatric diseases, a surge of drug addiction forced parents categorically prohibit the kids talk to strangers. This attitude is understandable. But let's see what the effects of this plant can also lead to what the ground can fall no grain.

Anxious baby, or "mask who you are?"

If a child is prone to tears, fear, poor sleep at night, often worries - most likely, his personality is developing on-valetudinarian worrying type, and position around the danger of "aggravate rather disturbing picture of a baby, will increase fears. He may have nightmares and obsessive ideas, not excluding the possibility of neurotic reactions. Such children should not paint the world only in black ink. It can be calmer, not focusing on the frightening side, explain that to strangers can not go anywhere, or communicate them to their address and phone number (if of course, the child does not get lost). In doing so, be sure to mark that in a world of good and a lot of good people - relatives and friends of parents, whom the child knows, loves and feels they are safe. To a disturbing child is not worried about the very possibility of meeting with a bad man, to make your conversation in the game, and using soft toys to play with the options of unwanted gatherings. Think along the universal polite phrases that the child may say, if it turn on the street. If you hesitate to play the child, ask him to arrange performance masked. Secure the mask, baby can express themselves with a completely unexpected side, daring to find innovative ways of behavior. Let the games affect various versions of events. Within the walls of his house or in the yard with the loved ones the child can more calmly and soberly assess the situation and think of ways out of them.

In such games, an adult should not fail to send a child - to promote its successful responses and actions, as well as to explain what in a given situation does not fit the other solutions, but to think of more suitable options for behavior.

Thus, the alarmingly-valetudinarian child gain the necessary skills to communicate with a stranger, and got into this situation, it will not be lost, and rightly, on the machine, to respond to the situation.

Active baby, or repetition - the mother exercises

Since hyperactivity child, unable to stay long in one place, talk about safety should be carried out in other ways. Note that due to its surface activity child can quickly forget what you said recently. This is a case where the repetition - is not a manifestation of parental zanudstva, but a necessity. From hyperactivity of children can be expected of all. Pushes the momentum, they might thoughtlessly, fearlessly and even be happy to go with a stranger "to watch kittens" or "new toy", sit down "to drive in the machine" or "play doctor", but may, on the contrary, suddenly found harmless human foot attacks . This child needed a course on the care and education at the same time - good manners. Hyperactivity child is very useful to study in a group with a psychologist, where with the help of specially selected games and exercises it will help develop skills at the right time to concentrate and be careful.

To a child learned to be polite, try to drive it more often in places where it willy-nilly will have to behave in another way - a more restrained, where he will be able to observe how adults and children interact, greet and leave each other, and myself to adopt good manners .. The best situation in which a child learns to control themselves - that is a lot of holidays, guided tours, walks, trips to the guests.

The behavior of hyperactive children is very variable. Please note, in which situations it is more polite and uvazhitelen for others, including to strangers, which - more than was collected, and care, and in what mchitsya amain, not seeing the danger and do not control himself. After this analysis, you can better plan their actions to correct the child's behavior.

Self-esteem

There is a need for a clear definition of what behavior and what the issues surrounding you think acceptable, and which, at the very least, questionable. For example, at neutral questions and remarks - "What are your car?", "What is the name of your зайку?" or "How to get to the pharmacy?" - You can teach a child to give polite and concise answers.

Some people like to make comments about other people's children. These comments may be ridiculous, but can be fair. In any case, does not come from talking with you people in the conflict. But do not humiliate and allow you and your child. Regardless of your reaction to "counsel" answer quietly: "Thank you, we will take note of what you have." When the timely and reasonable, for example, you say: "Such a strong sun, a child without a hat, you can thank and warmly smiled and said:" Yes, indeed you are right and follow the advice. This behavior and teach your child to listen to others and be able to adequately acknowledge his mistakes. If you hamyat or insist on a specific action that you consider inappropriate, very good - just go, later explaining child that adults, too, may behave incorrectly. Hama perehamish not, do not even start. Child's notice, you thereby show him an example of how to preserve the dignity, not descending to bessmylennogo and ugly clarify relationships.